Poem Whisperer Gifts

Literary Type

"This position has become very important to the company."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Reading

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'I can't believe she left everything to that stupid parakeet!'

Is this Seat Taken?

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

"Hmmm?!"

Alas, poor Yorick!

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

'Boy it's hot today: I'm looking forward to shearing time...'

"Apparently he took it all with him."

'Wow, you got Bob! Lucky you, he's definitely the best shearer around!'

"I'll never forget my father, near death, saying 'get me a pen... I'm going to change my will.' But it was Sunday, and all the stationery stores were closed."

Just the usual, thanks.

'She used a scroggy piraya to flench her jargonel.'

Dr. McWit ponders the Big Bag theory for Creation of the Universe.

"He's celebrating finishing the last page of his novel... Now he's just got 436 that come before it to write!"

"I've never written anything, but I think I have a good ear for dialogue."

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

"You called me Ishmael!"