Pms Warrior Pillows

'Hello, Pre-Menstrual Syndrome Hotline?'

'You want to borrow a tampon?!'

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Gamers

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

Militant Pacifists

Don't Take No For an Answer

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

"Why did we get a Cheetah? They need so much walking."

'Thank God, no tasers in my day!'

A "Park and Walk" near New York City.

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

Call Center.

"Sorry, Roger. The old laser pointer seems to be acting up again!"

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

Fencing Lessons

Calm in the Face of Chaos

Workaholism is a disease. It can be cured.

"Namaste! The divinity in me versus the divinity in you!"

Seriously? Boom! Pow, pow, pow!

Young child saying grace

Psychotic mood swing.

'Watch out or they'll shove higher wages and better life down your throat!'

Karate School.

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

'Democracy? I thought we were spreading love.'

'I got GI Joe Peace for my birthday.'

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

Great. Fourteen things to cheer about and it's only Monday.

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

"In order to stay positive, we must combat the forces of evil...I mean, negativity."

'Oi! Mind where you're going!'