Plumbing Puzzler Pillows

'Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

A Brain Drain

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

Fiction for Plumbers

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

Septic Fields Forever.

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

'He's the ship's plumber, Captain.'

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

I hate it when they start without us.

Noah's dove returns with a plunger.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

'Mom!!'

'Why don't you call a plumber?'

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'