Plumbing Puzzler Pillows

'Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

A Brain Drain

Fiction for Plumbers

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

Septic Fields Forever.

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'He's the ship's plumber, Captain.'

I hate it when they start without us.

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

'Mom!!'

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

'Why don't you call a plumber?'

Man using a plunger on his horn.

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.