Plumbing Ponderer Pillows

How to tell that the plumber you hired learned his trade in 'the land down under'.

Happy thoughts

Beginning Yarder.

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

Keystone XL

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

'We could use more moving and shaking from you, Yomp, and less bobbing and weaving.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'My research cover two fields: the behavior of matter under high pressure, and the behavior of scientists under high pressure.'

'Mind you, I'm not responsible for the entire pipeline ?' just the section that flows through my office.'

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'The shrink said my holiday was hereditary - my family.'

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

"I want my job back."

Elevator Repair School. First thing, forget the old saying "What goes up, must come down"!

Energy speculation.

"Beats me - I've never dealt with a sovereign debt crisis before."

"As I said to Steve: if they don't ship oil in that proposed pipeline...it's going to make one heck of a water slide!"

'Sorry, but the reality is, even your wind turbine needs to be oiled.'

School of Music. If you need perseverance to be a musician, what's all this I hear about unfinished symphonies?

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."

'Mom, it's doing it again'

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -

'Well, how many pints do you weigh?'

'I wonder how you flush this thing?'

'All these heads are kind of gross aren't they? What if we collected pottery or something?'

Oil consumption.