Plug Perfectionist Pillows

'Allow me. After all, I'm planning to be an electrician.'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'No it's still not fixed'

Perfection

'This Power Point slide has a dynamic layout comparing reading scores throughout the district, which you would have seen if I remembered to bring a spare projection bulb.

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

"You're welcome."

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Santa's Out Tray.

Toastquest!

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

'I like the plot, but are all those nude scenes really necessary?'

Writer's Block Next 10 Miles

"Now you can send it."

Wanting his picnic with Gwen to be perfect, Hal made sure they would not be bothered by ants.

'This course is a great ego builder.'

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

"This gentleman would like a refund. He claims the plot broke down halfway through!"

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

Think Zero Defects

Mount Everest.

"It's no use. We just can't improve on perfection."

'According to today's boxscore, Rockley, you've made a couple of errors and you didn't score any runs.'

Sculptor's Attempts At Sculpting Crumpled Paper Ball End Up In Trash