Plot Twist Junkie Gifts

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

Subway Thrillers

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

Upholding the Law

"Let's take in a trial."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"I plead guilty, Your Honor, but only in a nice, white-collar sort of way."

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

"Now THAT'S what I call a surprise ending!!"

'Ladies and Gentlemen of the press- what is your verdict...?'

"Remember me, Mister 'too much bacon is never enough?'"

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

'What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you're dead.'

"Better than Chekhov"

"Well? How was your first bungee jump?"

'So, were we entertained tonight, or just bludgeoned into submission?'

Violence on TV.

Our Summer Without Dave

"Mr. Dankin, the plumber will see you now."