Plot Twist Admirer Pillows

Goldilocks and the Three Little Pigs

If Shakespeare were alive today

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

Dog walking Human.

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Czarcasm

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"A haand gel...!?"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

Hot cross buns

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

The Final Selfie

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

'My name is Herbert J.Whiteside - you must fly for help immediately.'

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

'Oh, it is so totally on, now!'

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

'As you can see global climate change has encouraged some species to adapt to new environments.'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."