Plot Thickener Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"I thought they introduced the witch a little late."

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

10 commandments

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

'The only thing that made sense was the violence.'

"We need a plot twist."

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

Writer Will Work For One Good Plot Idea

Mid-list Author Magazine

"My novel? I've put it on hold. I'm writing my response in case I get asked to do on eof those 'How I write' columns..."

Writer's Block.

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

Mystery Writer's Book Signing...Tell the Author How You Could Have COme Up With A Better Ending, 4-6pm.

'This doesn't look good -- the masses are huddling.'

Movies made for under eight million dollars.

"Please, sir, do you have any spare plot ideas?"

Man lifts up the pages of a book and discovers a brick wall.

"I want to write what I know, but all In know is writing workshops."

'I like the lust,greed and sex - it's just the integrity that bothers me.'

Finally - a software package that makes it snap to write that novel.

'I'm not supplying you with anymore ideas until you pay me what you owe me from your last novel.'

Conspiracy theorist