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My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

Quality Control

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

Giant merger.

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Glenn Beck?'

'We finally do have meaningful tax reform, sir. This year's form is printed on recycled paper.'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"Take the severance package, Hayward. The rest of the board wanted a ritual slaying."

Editor. Short. Sweet.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

"We call it 'dish' of the day, but it's actually served on a plank of wood."

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

Trays 'IN' 'OUT' and 'Don't ask'

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

'Increase your beer volume sales by filling the glasses up.'

Tory leadership contest - Dog whistles

Nostalgia: 'In one era..out the other'