Plot Constructor Pillows

"Your tax return reads like one of your novels."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

Andre Gide.

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Engineer on the move.

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"I thought they introduced the witch a little late."

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

Crossroads - fiction/non fiction.

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Mason's Bricks + Cakes

"It's a setup."

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

'The only thing that made sense was the violence.'

"Okay, I finished my novel. Now what?"

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

"Better than Chekhov"

He's celebrating finishing the last page of his novel...now he only has the other 468 to write.

'It's not enough that you want to publish it, you must beg for it.'

Meet the author who hastily quit his day job.

"They say to get over writer's block, you should write what you know about. So...I wrote about writer's block."

"My novel? I've put it on hold. I'm writing my response in case I get asked to do on eof those 'How I write' columns..."

Writer’s Corner

Ian McEwan

"Don't write it!"

Mystery Writer's Book Signing...Tell the Author How You Could Have COme Up With A Better Ending, 4-6pm.

"Mona has 'Second Novel Paralysis...'"