Plot Constructor Mugs

"Your tax return reads like one of your novels."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

Andre Gide.

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Engineer on the move.

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"I thought they introduced the witch a little late."

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Crossroads - fiction/non fiction.

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

"It's a setup."

Joyce Carol Oates

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Irvine Welsh

Mason's Bricks + Cakes

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

"Okay, I finished my novel. Now what?"

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

'The only thing that made sense was the violence.'

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

Meet the author who hastily quit his day job.

He's celebrating finishing the last page of his novel...now he only has the other 468 to write.

'It's not enough that you want to publish it, you must beg for it.'

"Better than Chekhov"

'Dang! Heck of a time to get writer's block.'

"They say to get over writer's block, you should write what you know about. So...I wrote about writer's block."

"My novel? I've put it on hold. I'm writing my response in case I get asked to do on eof those 'How I write' columns..."

Ian McEwan

"Don't write it!"

Writer’s Corner

Mystery Writer's Book Signing...Tell the Author How You Could Have COme Up With A Better Ending, 4-6pm.