Plea Bargain Ponderer T-Shirts

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Extreme Sisyphus

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"You can't plead cute."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

Bumper Limos

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

The Good Samaritan.

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

"At this time boarding first will be all first class passengers, a.k.a. the more important people on this flight."

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"My basic judicial philosophy is 'Guilty.'"

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

"Having a fine old name really has been enough for me."

Well at least we can handle these rocks.

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

'Sure, but king benefits aren't portable.'

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

'Oh darling, I want to spend the rest of my life with you! But please do not impute or infer any intentions from that comment.'

Mountains and Molehills