Playful Romance Pillows

'I've been voted Most Valuable Player in our wife swapping club!'

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

Mixed Doubles.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

Holding hands

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

Sexual chemistry set

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Advanced footsie

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

'You may now kick the bride.'

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

Rude Snowpeople

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Love.

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Puppy Love

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

...The origin of the word daisy is from Anglo Saxon 'Daes Eage,' literally meaning 'days eye' because daisies open at dawn.'

Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm giving my baby a bottle.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'Shuck me.'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

You are simply the Greatest

'Henry, cut that out.'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.