Playful Penitent Pillows

"Actually, Father, it's teddy who has to confess....he was nervous about coming in here alone."

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

Love is... when your puppy licks you face without knowing where it's been.

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

Seven deadly sins store

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

Puppy and Kitten.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Boring Rainy Day Sitting Area.'

"Look, Honey! No teeth!"

Kid sweeps dirt under his junk on the floor.

Anti-litter by-law in effect

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Surfin' the web.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

Pirate

Jeff gives it up for Lent.

"I can't go to school today, Mom . . . I'm running a low-grade spring fever."

Playpen Jailbreak.

"...And to those who have been naughty he doesn't bring any coal, just presents."

"You just wait until your father gets home and adjusts your algorithm!"