Playful Conquerors Gifts

"I hereby declare this planet for Oxymaxian territory"

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

"Sometimes, time travel isn't such a good idea."

"You're definitely in the top 1,000,000,000 people on this planet."

Stuff Broken

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

As he picked up the video game controller, the trap was sprung, and Ryan's mother forced him to fill out college applications.

As you like it - Parisians who will never be under police supervision

'When you created the world, Lord, did you know that Miss Rabone would be able to fit the whole thing into one geography test?'

Child pulling giant Hummer wagon.

Attila is No. 1! We heart Attila! Hooray for Attila! Attila is the man! Yell your king my warriors and I want his castle! Who shall I say is calling?

'I do try to walk more! The donut shop is a good 1/2 block further tan the health food store!'

"Do you like this settee - oh, stop. How often do I ask you to go furniture shopping?"

'E=ma2. E=mb2...'

'Tah-DAH! -- Guess what I conquered!'

No Ball Games in the Park

'This must be the day you're quiting. I saw your car parked in the boss's space.'

"The Heavens Will be Mine."

'Wow! Your head weights 23 pounds just like your feet!'

Basketball - Short player pulling down shorts of tall player.

The honeymoon was great. We never left the hotel room.

'I can't see you either...'

Kids - who'd have em?

"Extreme Marco Polo"

'I tried to meet the sales goal but alas! It fought like a mule and it bit like a crocodile!'

"Don't think hiding behind that man will stop me from throwing this snowball!"

"It's three on one. I say we rush him."

'This diet is killing me! -- Last night I dreamed that I ate Willy Wonka!'

'have you broken all of your Christmas presents yet?'

1927: Edmund Hillary conkers Everett.