Playdate Partner Gifts

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

Mixed Doubles.

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

Holding hands

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

Advanced footsie

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

Kids with Fish Balloons

Boy and his dog

'Can Anna come out and ride?'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

"Just ignore it. It's a mirage."

Love.

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Come on dear, don't be shy: This little she-chameleon just wants to play...'

Puppy Love

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Teddy Bear

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

You are simply the Greatest

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'Henry, cut that out.'