Playbook Strategist Pillows

"If you throw it to me I'll introduce you to my financial advisor."

'...There's this big dude on the other side. Nobody look! But, every time we try anything he comes after me. Now, what's that all about?'

'They're gonna punt. ... Release the special teams.'

'Throw the ball! I can't hold them much longer - the defence shields are weakening!'

'Trick play! Trick play!'

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'Another delay-of-game penalty because you're not e-mailing the plays fast enough.'

'On this play, Mathers runs a square-in route from the left side and Simpson runs a square-in route from the right...'

In a cost cutting move, NFL teams begin outsourcing jobs once held by domestic offensive coordinators.

'Today's session is on bail bondsmen.'

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

'He's severely strained relations with his teammates... get his agent.'

'Don't ask me what play to call..I've only got a one year contract...you've got a four year scholarship...you decide what play to call.'

'Sorry, But I can't go long. It will violate my parole.'

'Harold has a difficult time accepting constructive criticism.'

O X. Once football practice starts those two spend all day together. F E.

NFL's 50 Most Masterful Uses of the Clock

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

Pessimists v Optimists.

Project Manager Showdown

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

'I would like to return this chart. It didn't perform up to our expectations.'

'Okay, who knows how to solve for 'X'?'