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"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you!'

'I'd love to play house, Kevin, but I've got a business to run.'

"And the crowd roars."

Jimmy says you're a poopyhead. Do you have a rebuttal?

'You know what I just noticed about playing outside? No pop-up windows.'

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

Sandboxes

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

'AQ popgun? I want a field model Browning pump chambered for the 3-inch magnum load.'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'James let his inner-child out, but he can't figure out how to put it back in.'

'Wait a minute! I think our line has been tapped.'

Work Doh

'The only imaginable solution to this problem is a battle to the death.'

'God went to a lot of trouble to invent gravity. The least we can do is use it.'

Play-Doh vs Work Doh

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"I guess breakable things need to be more careful around me."

Bring Your Inner Child To Work Day

"Don't forget to wash your hands."

Remote control bridge in bath.

'If you don't like war toys. . . we have an identical set, but the box is labelled PEACE KEEPER ACTION FIGURES.'

'Bad news? I got into a fight with a mud puddle. Good news? I won.'

'Hang in there, Sandra. In a few years we'll be tormenting them.'

Having been lost in the play tubes for years, Ryan Bowman finally emerges.

Suction-cup marks: Just one of the reasons wall hockey never caught on.

Child has practiced building sand castles in snow.

"Everyone, welcome our new Vice President of Irritating Noises!"

Rocking horse and rocking camel.

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

Kennel Club is closed for staff training

Skip.

'Sweetheart, Danny can't come home right now... I'll take a look at your doll baby this evening then probably schedule some tests.'

"How's the game of hide and seek going?"