Platter Design Gifts

The wonderful world of cheese.

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

The Main Types of Cheese

Pasta

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"Balanced Diet"

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'The plan is to market our original product as a new product...'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"If I'm going to have a baby brother, can I help design him?"

A woman has mini scarecrows in here flower garden.

'Anything else need tying up?'

'Ok - I'm thinking baroque style with a pillared apse and a waterfall in the atrium. Oh - and do we have a permit?'

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

'Dad's teaching me about the all-you-can-eat buffet line and how to get the most out of each trip.'

A silenced protester

'Now I can see why our son's roommates won't let him cook.'

'Do you ever feel the trend to serve meals in towers is getting ridiculous?'

'Oi! - Have you nicked one of my sausages?'

"I'm building a castle."

'So there I was, alone in the aisle, heart pounding, without a bloody clue as to what wine I should bring our hosts.'

'A few over here, please.'

"And when he dies, I can make him into earrings!"

'I tried to get the numberplate PEN 15 but it had gone.'

Broad Beans and Jelly Beans

A gardener surreptitiously planting a sapling in a neighbour's neglected garden.

Sunny side up eggs

'What do I recommend?.. Now you're talking.|

Unfortunately, Bob was a sucker for good presentation...

'Let's face it Frank, you just don't have a green thumb.'