Platinum Jubilee Gifts

Cost of Living and Jubilee

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

Pearly King and Queen

Do you think I'm sixty?

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"Careful."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

Aging Problems

Attic of hopes and dreams...

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'I'm fighting ageing.'

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"It makes you look old."

"It seemed a given that my bucket-list should include an actual bucket."

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."