Plate Watchers T-Shirts

'What aren't we eating today, my love?'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

Cariactures

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Glance Exchange

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Coffee shop

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

"Look, Martha—you contribute, I contribute, we all contribute to the pulse of the city."

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

Worthless B*****ds

"Do you want a drink or do you need a drink ? We're very busy...."

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

Startling!

"We're talking business ethics not ethics."

The reserved and the go-ers.'

"You don't need me. You don't need anyone. You are Americans."

'The Human Comedy needs a laugh track.'

"Sorry—our counter is reserved for lone dudes staring at their phones in silence."

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

"Nan and Gordon are from California, but Northern California."

"I gave on the E train."

'I think this is where our fish pond was.'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'