Plastic Art Appreciator T-Shirts

Made in China

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Misunderstood artist

Pastorius wonders why.

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Scarpia's Palace

Juggler and Illusionist

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Artist on the Beach

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Leonore from Fidelio

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

Ariana Grande caricature

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

Dolly Varden - 'The Laughing Dolly'