Plant Parents Pillows

Plant Fast Food.

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

Fact: Carnivorous Plants use Smell to Attract their Food

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

"At what level membership can we put you down for 'Foliage,' 'Lawn,' or 'Fertilizer'?"

"Congratulations! We've bought you one more thing to keep alive."

Quick Grow Flower Food.

'Hey, Master's bought a Bonzai-tree: Maybe you'll be able to climb that type of tree!'

'Germinate... Germin-ate!!'

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

'I warned you we'd been hot-housing her.'

"It's a letter from the council, about our window box."

Nursery - Products That Help Things Grow... Products That Kill Things.

"Our environmental policy might encourage tree planting. . . . but not in the office."

"Of course homeworking has lots of advantages."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bond James, Bond."

Grace For Flies

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"They grow up so fast."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Madonna of the Pukes.

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Children's Parties

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.