Plant Juggler Gifts

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

Man with balloons about to bump into a woman with a cactus

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Work/Life Balance

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

Brickie's Mate

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

(an employee is in grasp of a giant octopi.The employee's boss is yelling at him through a bull-horn) 'Mr. Smith! According to H.R., you can no longer be employed here! Alright H.R., you can set Mr. Smith down now!'

The Music of Life (in the key of dna).

"Well it looks like we're all here."

I avoided the layoff, but they transferred me to the high-wire act. At least it's steady work.

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

Jack and the Beanstalk.

Have you ever read Dickens, minion? No. How about Upton Sinclair? John Steinbeck? Who?

"You should be grateful your hours are such that you're able to work 3 jobs."

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

Why do you want a career in the bank?

"I'd like you to consider some of our exciting career opportunities working for anyone else but me."