Plant-free Decorator Pillows

Reason # 23 why a pile of money is better decor than a potted plant: nobody has to water it when you're away.

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Filet minion

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Pinata Trophies

Yard Sale

The Hammer

"Can that be right?"

'The roof needs icing.'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'It's my main decorating motif.'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

'It's a coffee-book table.'

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."