Plant Breeding Gifts

'I want you to hold your breath until you turn blue.'

Luther Burbank

Prize vegetables.

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Cat Nip.

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

Allotment

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

Garden Goddess.

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"I'm losing my patience with you."

The discovery of asparagus.

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

Botany Baby!

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'