Plant-based Performer Gifts

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

"States of tofu"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

He'd attended Julliard and done Shakespeare in the park, and he never thought he'd sink this low, but there were bills to pay, and there weren't that many jobs out there for a bottle of seltzer water.'

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Peas on Earth.

'New Barbeque.'

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

"How did you cure your dog of begging for food?"

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

"How almond milk is made"

The early days of tofurkey.

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"I can't remember which ones are plant-based."

Go Veggie...

"We're very strict. No soy milk, no veggie burgers, no margarine... nothing that even looks like an animal product."

International Carrot Day April 4th

'I'll try the 'Hippy meal'.'

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

Vegan Insomnia

"I'm worried that not everyone knows I'm a vegan!"

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

Butcher shop +

Free Range Tofurkey.

'Don't worry - it's made entirely from soya-based meat substitute.'

"Being a vegan should be considered an extreme sport."