Plant-based Patron Pillows

Queen of Quinoa

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"States of tofu"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Labor Day Flowers

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"You had me at alternative milk."

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'New Barbeque.'

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

Peas on Earth.

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

"Wine is plant-based food."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"How did you cure your dog of begging for food?"

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

"How almond milk is made"

The early days of tofurkey.

"I can't remember which ones are plant-based."

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"