Plant-based Pro Pillows

"I can't remember which ones are plant-based."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"States of tofu"

Queen of Quinoa

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"You had me at alternative milk."

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

'New Barbeque.'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

"How did you cure your dog of begging for food?"

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? The irises clash with the roses! Peonies?! Here? What was I thinking? No! Not aphids already! Psycho gardening disorder.

"How almond milk is made"

The early days of tofurkey.

The vegan hunter

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Fruit and Vegetables - protestors signs read 'Stop this brutality' and 'Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants'.

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

"Leftover seeds."

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"