Planning Perfecter Gifts

I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. we forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we'd hoped to use died in 1958

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"We only got six days of funding."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Worry tank

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'

"I'm afriad we had to cancel the 'perfect planning ' seminar. We forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we hoped to use died in 1958."

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'Daft title. How could you have 'backward' planning?'

'Regarding our deadline - have we moved to long-range planning or still stuck in short-term excuses?'

Bad Office Planning

Father Time Management

"I propose we go with the second option."

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

'You should have ordered one. This is the only one left in the shop!'

We thought we'd put in the detail later.