Planetary Accountant T-Shirts

Tax Preparer. I'm working on my client's tax returns. Mars, being the "red planet," is claiming a business operating loss. Jupiter, with all those moons, takes deductions for almost 70 dependents. And earth has no new nations this year ... so no "capitol gains" to declare. Did Mercury lower his taxes? Yeah, he's eligible for a huge solar energy tax credit!

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

"Yahoo! We struck earthfriendly oil."

Cosmic Rays: Large cartilaginous interstellar space-dwelling fish of the order Myliobatiformes. Feed on planets containing plankton and small schooling fish.

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

"Isn't Mars over that way?"

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"Houston - we are landing in the crater now. . . on first viewing, this planet looks uninhabited. . ."

'What, you again? And you'll want credit as usual, I suppose!'

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

The five inhospitable gas giants

Branson space shot

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

Leap Year

World Cup Universe.

'Would you watch where you're going already.'

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

METHANE BAR

"It's from the IRS. They demand full disclosure of all treasures laid up here."

"Be careful - these things have consequences. Tax consequences."

Aliens on another planet.

"Sin tax? I love it."

You called me, boss? Yes. I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we've found. I want you to stop doing that. At least until I'm done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don't need any competitors driving up the prices. Very bad man. When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing.

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

Eternal Revenue Service. Now I understand why you can't take it with you.

'WHAT??! 3.695.897 euro for the pizza delivery service??!'

Sometimes astronomers look down...

'Hey everybody, ring tones.'