Celestial Accountant T-Shirts

'Apparently it's no longer cost effective.'

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

"What do you mean, it's not tax deductible?!"

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

Local News in Heaven

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

Oops! Maybe we better make the chicken first.

Branson space shot

"So much for eternal rest."

Tax Preparer. I'm working on my client's tax returns. Mars, being the "red planet," is claiming a business operating loss. Jupiter, with all those moons, takes deductions for almost 70 dependents. And earth has no new nations this year ... so no "capitol gains" to declare. Did Mercury lower his taxes? Yeah, he's eligible for a huge solar energy tax credit!

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

'The U.S. Treasury announced today that the federal deficit will no longer be measured in 'trillions' of dollars, but in 'light-years'.'

Rhinestone Accountant

You always keep the same face turned this way --- Don't you trust me?

'She loved me...'

Planeterrium.

The dark side of the moon

"It's from the IRS. They demand full disclosure of all treasures laid up here."

"Be careful - these things have consequences. Tax consequences."

'Uh, You know that honor system you worked out with Adam and Eve?...'

Sell the Universe !

'WHAT??! 3.695.897 euro for the pizza delivery service??!'

"Sin tax? I love it."

Eternal Revenue Service. Now I understand why you can't take it with you.

Fortunes. . .$20, Impressions. . .$10, Clenches. . . $5, Wild Guess. . . $2.

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'

The Ball of Superstring...an unlikely Parable.

'Intriguing theory, Dr. Kleinherz, but the fact that the Universe is expanding doesn't necessarily mean that God is a capitalist.'