Quirky Accountant T-Shirts

'Forget the early withdrawal penalty. What I'm taking out, I didn't put in!'

"I look after her tax affairs for �1,000 - she wanted �2,000 but that's all I could afford."

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

Dog Bookends

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

"I've built this business up from scratch. . . "

'The action next week is going to be in bird seed, but if you quote me, I'll deny I said it.'

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

"Excuse me...but there are hairs in my soup. I think we should be supportive when our friends open a business. But sometimes I wonder...what are they thinking?"

'The U.S. Treasury announced today that the federal deficit will no longer be measured in 'trillions' of dollars, but in 'light-years'.'

Rhinestone Accountant

F.B.I. Financial Fraud Investigation Unit. The accountant passed his lie detector test. Where should I file the result? In "accounts believable."

You're doing "taxes", huh? What's your high score?

'I used to be a 'nut', but since I made millions in the market, I'm a 'contrarian'.'

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

Snow Cones 50 Cents - self serve.

"We fire pound coins at each other at high speeds and hope for the best ..."

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

"For the last time, Bellows, it's stomp stomp clap, we will, we will rock. Now, from the top..."

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

'Damn - that was my idea.'

Hot dog vendor is struck by a new business strategy...Grilled Bankers.

Bob's Window Washing and Private Investigator!

Snake charmer tries to improve the sales report.

Lemonade 50 cents - Smokers Welcome!

Taxidermy and Exotic Meats.

"I guess this is about as hostile as we can make this takeover."

'You may march to a different drummer, but you still have to pay the same piper.'

Bank Checking. Ah, just the person we wanted to see. The good news is we've named a computer glitch after you.