Quirky Business Analyst T-Shirts

Snake charmer tries to improve the sales report.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

"Why didn't we think of that?"

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

Cat Boss

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'The action next week is going to be in bird seed, but if you quote me, I'll deny I said it.'

"I've built this business up from scratch. . . "

Snow cones being sold in a snow globe.

"Excuse me...but there are hairs in my soup. I think we should be supportive when our friends open a business. But sometimes I wonder...what are they thinking?"

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

"My tech-support is a lot better than my hot dogs."

"Damn it, Bershire, I've told you to never call me when I'm in my executive ball pit!"

"Retirement will be a pipe dream for many of us...we need to explore new careers for later life."

Snow Cones 50 Cents - self serve.

"I trademarked my name, so now you'll need to pay me to use it."

"When I suggested to corporate that we make our meetings more fun, I was hoping for more than just holding them in a sandbox."

The spirit of creative challenge is the driving force of our corporate philosophy.

'As you may know, I'll retire in a few weeks but you better not think that I'm a lame duck now!'

'Damn - that was my idea.'

The Niche Economy

Hot dog vendor is struck by a new business strategy...Grilled Bankers.

Bob's Window Washing and Private Investigator!

'Remember when we used to like having a real hands on CEO?'

Lemonade 50 cents - Smokers Welcome!

Taxidermy and Exotic Meats.

"I guess this is about as hostile as we can make this takeover."

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

"Where are you going with this, Wingate?"

Hoping to compete with the Mayo Clinic: Miracle Whip Medical Clinic

'Our acquisitions department accidentally took over a third world country.'

"There will be a charge for cactus needles as part of the treatment."