Planet Parent Pillows

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Playing Fetch.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Just be yourself."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Polly txt speak

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.