Plane Passionist Pillows

"Sorry, my mistake, I thought the dating agency said, 'a plain speaking man', 'bye."

Canine Companion

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

The songwriter who wrote a bridge about his bridge.

A woman in a purple gown playing the piano

'Harold was in the RAF, so I always do him a birthday fly past!'

Michelangelo's first and last attempt at the splatter technique.

A man working on a model airplane

'Your boyfriend doesn't get along with your cat? DUMP HIM!'

'I'm tired of begging, so I'm applying for a loan.'

NASA official to visitor re wind-blown employee: 'Wind tunnel technician.'

"Well our move was PARTLY global warming and partly because the schools are better down here."

Alexander Blok

Horace

Captain Balbo and his Marchetti seaplane.

'The woodpecker is extra.'

Vincent Discovers Impasto

"No, I can't just fire you up one of those stone oven pizzas."

James Ward-Prowse

'Model Aircraft.'

Chutney

"I spilled my last drop of 'Eau de Passion'! Fragrance really does affect your mood!"

'I sold enough of my blood to keep our website up for another week. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pass out.'

"Tell me I didn't marry a brine snob."

The Bed Treatment

I love my clarinet

Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements.

"I think they're right - all those 'outlaw boxing' people."

"Would you prefer smoking or non smoking?"

It took me two weeks to knit but I have to rip it up and start over. I'm dating Mark now.

"There's more to life than just ticking boxes!"

'Okay, I was wrong - he's NOT just as afraid of us as we are of him.'