Plane Fixer-upper Pillows

Aero engine workshop.

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

"That's the last time I ask you to fix anything around here!"

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

The Upholstery Consultant

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"There's nothing wrong with your marriage that an extra bathroom and walk-in closet can't solve."

"If we remove the stalactites and replace some rocks, we could flip it for a profit."

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

Well paid job

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.