Plane Crash Buff Pillows

"Unfortunately, what we thought to be the black box turned out to be the navy blue box"

Barbeque Casualty.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"We'll get there when we get there!"

The government is lying to us about life on the moon phobia.

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

Big slipper.

'... and make it look like an accident.'

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

'Do you have to bring your mother on every flight?'

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'I say we forget about these particular chickens...'

'Bill, you messed up again. You built the second floor on top of the third floor.'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'Does that mean no sex tonight?'

'Lightening hit the band shell while the orchestra was playing...'

"I never would've encouraged you to step out of your comfort zone if I'd known you were such a klutz."

'Little Tommy took the cap off the sauce bottle when he got home from school in the end.'

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

'It's lucky for you your legs are O.K.!'

'You say you always give 110% effort-an odd answer for a job as a statistician. . .'

Santa's Near Miss

'What are YOU doing here?'

'Do not be alarmed... this is only a drill!'

Shark and aircraft

"And hold the mayo."

"Duck? No I ordered the beef."