Placebo Pondering Pillows

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

Crowded Ice Fishing

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'Yes sir, Thoreau had the right idea.'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'How come there aren't any peace heroes?'

'This doesn't look good. I'm afraid you've developed an immunity to placebos.'

"Nothing can be done about crime unless you deal with the root causes in the environment."

"What is it you'd like to know about incentives, my son?"

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

"Does my brain look big in this?"

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"Well Doctor, I thought if a placebo works, this might as well..."

"I'm prescribing a placebo. You'll have to explain to him that it's really working."

'There's nothing wrong with you that a couple placebos won't cure.'

I'm afraid laughter isn't really the best medicine, Mr. Fusco. The truth is, laughter is the best placebo.

Well at least we can handle these rocks.

'Would you like this placebo in name brand or generic?'

'Don't fight it, Fred - Just go with the flow.'

Mountains and Molehills

"We still don't understand how this happened. You were with the placebo control group."

"With Mindfulness, one may learn to sit through all distractions."

'Attention - we're combining our anti-viral and anti-bacterial placebo divisions immediately.'

'Are you the dove of peace?' 'Yes. What the hell d'you want?'