Pistol Packing Cat Gifts

"God gave me nine lives and with John Browning's help I'm going to keep it that way."

Welcome to the Team

Dogs

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

Love is... when your puppy licks you face without knowing where it's been.

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"If you're looking to adopt a dog that's good with cats, may I suggest Ruffus."

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

Puppy and Kitten.

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

'It's not laziness, its stress management.'

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

Descartes' Cat - I meow, therefore I am.

'Well sure there's a waiting period - it's as long as it takes you to get home and load it'

"He's a mix."

'You can only carry on one bag.'

Cat Philosophers

'I must be losing it. I forgot to try to trip someone walking down the stairs today.'

The saying of Chairman Meow.

"'Meow' and 'Purr'? It isn't clever and it isn't funny."

Snowball tied to warn the stranger but the attack was already under way.

'One that doesn't meow too much.'

'Unfortunately for us it's a dog eat dog food world, son.'

Air Bag.

'Could I have the receipt, please? I like to keep them buried at the bottom of my purse.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chain flush

Depressed cat says: 'Lives are hard and then, eventually, you die.'

I'm studying this tin of sardines for inspiration before I pack for our trip.

"If you're the 'cat's pyjamas' then I'm Ginger Rogers."