Pioneer Spirit Seeker Gifts

We're looking for a great environment to raise our kids in.

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

"Good game."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Felix Mendelssohn

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Sauvignon Bonk

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Home depot."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

My God, I need to fart.

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.