Pinky Sworn Expert Gifts

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

Female chemotherapy warrior.

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

A candidate makes their greatest impact on an interviewer in the first few minutes...

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

Ophiologist

Avoid talking about personal and domestic issues at interviews, unless asked.

'Not a problem. Our industry is self-regulated. In fact, I'm scheduled to jump off the roof right after this meeting.'

'Think he'll ever spring for the bowl?'

If you rotate the corporate ladder by 90 degrees, you end up with monkey bars.

"I feel like a hallow shell of my former self."

Let the profit-making begin!

ACcountants Lunch

"At your opening, I see that you had two glasses of wine, eight pieces of cheddar, eight crackers, and seventeen grapes. That, of course, will have to come off the top of your end."

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

"Diversification doesn't mean hiding the money under the mattress, the sofa and 2 chairs!"

"You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time?"

"Christmas shopping done - the trolley only cost a quid."

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

"Is it your intention to seethe for the next four years?"

'Pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

"My only problem with fiscal restraint is the restraint part."

"So, how long have you two been in Ghana studying the apes?"

"I gave at the office!"

Expert and Ex-Pert

'Bailiff, tell maintenance that I need my bench raised again.'

"I found it. It's catnip for the 5th anniversary and scratching post on the 10th."

'Junior! Get down from there! You're not arboreal!'

"Just what I wanted !...an Empty box!"

'He went into shock when you presented him with the hospital bill.'