Pinky Swear Skeptic Pillows

'Pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

Child hides amongst her pink stuff.

Rational explanations

"And the Haves, you might say, are divided into the Gives and Give Nots."

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

A couple of muskrats talk: 'Frankly, I've had it with hockey.'

"I prefer a politician who is deeply religious but also doesn’t take any of that nonsense seriously."

"I can give you a 93.4% assurance that there is less than a 65.6% possibility that this excercise will simply generate 34.8% more meaningless statistics."

"We are both 'godless'. I'm just the one who knows it."

Holy Water

"I think your personal psychic is a waste of money. She promised us a boatload of fish, and I haven't had a nibble all day."

Bottled water plant gets delivery of treated sewage.

"Sorry, I really don't believe in it...I'm a Scorpio and you know that we're naturally sceptical..."

'If you look carefully you'll see that all the claims are invalid except on alternate Tuesdays in June when Venus is in alignment with Mars.'

Information manipulation

'Pills and medicine are okay, but really doctor, I don't do shots.'

"'Hold,' young lady, is for other people."

'I'm afraid there's no tax deductibility for 'A life wasted in fruitless search for fulfillment through the acquisition of meaningless wealth'.'

You Can't Catch Us All!

'Bureau of odd religions'

Preacher performs a miracle.

'He's reached his limit with Government health advice.'

'We've been seeing a lot of this type of injury lately.'

NO PARKING, from here to eternity.

Alcohol Related Crime.

I do if she does. I do if he does. I have a bad feeling about this.

"Your god made me an atheist! How dare you question his wisdom?!"

"Somewhere between 4th and 5th grade I lost faith in the process."