Pinch Pranksters Pillows

'Now you keep them scorpion claws away from your face, 'cause those things will pinch you real hard!'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

Me and my money are soon parted

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

Tartar sauce.

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

Back to the Holidays

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

Children in a Nursery.

'No problem Mr. Billings, just drop your shorts and let me take a sniff around there.'

Why clown agents shoul never hide in the WC

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

"I'm ready to play Hide and go Seek."

Tank color choices.

'Stop fooling around, I can hear my dad coming out of the shower...'

"Omnipotent?! I thought you said impotent. And you're out of wished, too."