Pill Popper Jokester Pillows

"These pills are larger, so if you drop one you can easily find it. You may want to take these with some water."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

"These are for your heart and kidneys – the others are for the rest of your organs so they don't feel left out."

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Dentists who do appendectomies.

"No matter who I vote for, Tia Carmen always votes for the other guy. That means my candidate gets two votes!"

"You folks in R&D really did make a miracle drug. I've never taken it, but I feel better already!"

"Those sinus pills you prescribed didn't work, doc...I put three up my nose every day for a week and I'm still congested!"

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'How can you tell?'

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

'Oh, that...sure I'd like to take a fling at that and then quit'

'Take two of these after I leave the room.'

"Take two pills every four hours. Or, take four pills every two hours and get better even faster." What he thought he heard.

'Wish I had taken the HIGH road!'

"I thought we said no presents!"

Don't feed the bears vegetables.

Ca you find Pompeo on a map?

Artist

"It doesn't really matter if I take a wrong pill - I probably have something that needs it anyway!"

'When I think of all the homework my dog ate, I can hardly believe that I'm sitting at this desk.'

"I'd like to meet Rocketman at the DMZ and dance Gangnam style."

'I'm going to prescribe something that works like aspirin but costs much, much more.'

"...I'd say your health was way below the poverty line!"

'There drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!

'Could I get this in an 'easy to swallow' coating?'