Pill Pondering T-Shirts

This prescription doesn't have side efets. It's more like straight to the top and straight to the bottom.

Crowded Ice Fishing

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'Yes sir, Thoreau had the right idea.'

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'How come there aren't any peace heroes?'

"Nothing can be done about crime unless you deal with the root causes in the environment."

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

"Does my brain look big in this?"

'Let me know if these weight-loss pills actually work.'

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

"Next week is out. I'll be in Houston merchandising my pain."

'Don't fight it, Fred - Just go with the flow.'

"With Mindfulness, one may learn to sit through all distractions."

"You have a long life line... and where DO you get your nails done?"

Exercise for the end of the day...

'Are you the dove of peace?' 'Yes. What the hell d'you want?'

'Any side effects of these sleeping pills?'

"Dear God, what's the meaning of knife."

"My mind is especially empty today."

'Your prayers may be monitored for quality assurance.'