Pickup Artistry Satirist Gifts

A man walks a trojan horse in a dog park.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

Erdogan Replaces Trump on Putin Horse

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

'Secondhand smoke.'

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

US aid to Ukraine

American Bombs

Democratic Party Access For Under $100.

Democracy - or die!

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Manhattan Woods

Pennybags Monster

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

The Jumping Tank

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

A Company Run By One Genius Supervising Thousands of Morons

Caution: Falling Businessmen - A Sign of the Times

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

'Oh no, they're rolling back the frontiers of the state!'

"We might need that ball, boy!"

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

"I can't get no disinfection."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

DHSC considering as-yet unlicensed flu vaccines to boost supply

'Wanna help make sure we don't become an endangered species?'

The Conservative Party attempting to save the Church from the Liberals

Covid Podium

The harvest