Pickle Passionista Pillows

"Tell me I didn't marry a brine snob."

Canine Companion

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

The songwriter who wrote a bridge about his bridge.

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

A woman in a purple gown playing the piano

'It's a common misconception. Sometime we actually get quite hot.'

'I'm tired of begging, so I'm applying for a loan.'

'Your boyfriend doesn't get along with your cat? DUMP HIM!'

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

"Well our move was PARTLY global warming and partly because the schools are better down here."

"And all of our sandwiches come bundled with chips and a pickle"

"Sorry, my mistake, I thought the dating agency said, 'a plain speaking man', 'bye."

'The woodpecker is extra.'

Horace

Alexander Blok

Pizza By The Slice

Vincent Discovers Impasto

"No, I can't just fire you up one of those stone oven pizzas."

James Ward-Prowse

Chutney

"I spilled my last drop of 'Eau de Passion'! Fragrance really does affect your mood!"

'I sold enough of my blood to keep our website up for another week. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pass out.'

I love my clarinet

A duck on postage stamp.

"I think they're right - all those 'outlaw boxing' people."

It took me two weeks to knit but I have to rip it up and start over. I'm dating Mark now.

"Say, Jigsaw, what have you got there?"