Physical Fitness Gifts

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'Okay, where's your chair?' - 'I've decided to squat for 8 hours a day to build my thighs.' - 'Won't that hurt?' - 'Fortunately, I've developed a massive pain tolerance by sitting opposite you for so long.'

"You've lost a little weight since your last physical, but you're also two inches shorter."

"Remember, ladies, if you're doing this right, you shouldn't be able to do it."

1. Wealthy people will consider hiring others to do their exercise for them. They should not give in to this temptation, as studies have shown that this seriously slows down any truly serious body-building campaign. 2. The key word in isometrics is balance. Be sure every part of your body shares in the fun equally and you will be able to avoid awkward developments.

"We don't have the budget for a PE teacher, but somebody has to do it."

Dance Mania video game gets damaged from a heavy user who exceeded the weight limit.

Keep Fit.

'That's it! Go for a quick knockout!'

Man getting so excited he lifts his desk up.'

"Apparently he needed an emergency hernia operation shortly afterwards!"

'Hurry, Andrea, here comes the hunk mail!'

Kuk sool won

"Ideally, I'd like to get my body back to its factory settings."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Dog Walking Services

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Well, well, well...'