Photocopier Prankster Pillows

"In the light of the current financial position management has decided to cancel the Christmas party but. . .you can still come in and use the photocopier to photocopy your bottoms."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Bo're'droom

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Here and There Trays

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

'I hope you replace your divots.'

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"Everybody gets a raise."

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

'Cancel his redundancy cheque then phone for an ambulance'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"